Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
