I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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