He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
