Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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