Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
