What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
