Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
