i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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