google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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