We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
