end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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