she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
