I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
