kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
