Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
