that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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