I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Hippo gnu deer
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
