She said her name was "party"
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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