her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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