Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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