Quick, to the slutcave!
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
