What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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