"it" just moved
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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