Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Four minutes until I can fart!
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
