how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
