My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
