he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Don't make out with my wife yet
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
