Your mouth is God's brothel.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
