He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
