Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
it's like heaven, but drunker
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
