I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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