You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
