Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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