I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize