If i come over, it means nothing
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize