u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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