I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
