i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
