Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
