I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
