Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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