guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize