I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
