I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
