That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Found the puke drawer
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
