Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
