It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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