let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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