thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I need to sanitize my soul.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
