You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
