I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
