let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
