I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
My bed smells like the plague
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
